Out there

From: Mamlok, Elena
Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2008 11:06 AM
To: Mamlok, Elena
Subject: Confidential PowerPoint left at the printer

Hello all,

Just wanted to announce that a presentation stamped “Confidential” has been left out, in the open, on the file cabinet next to the printer – the printer our entire department uses.

And if you ask me, it’s a load of crap.

See you at the holiday party!

Elena

Red Eye

I went to Aurelia's Oratorio yesterday at the American Repertory Theater associated with Harvard. It was phenomenal! If you have the opportunity, go see it while it's there! Really, amazing.

Just a moment before the show began, the seat next to me was occupied by the ticket holder and next to her, her friend. I overheard this stranger say "Just because I'm using eyedrops doesn't mean I have to stay at home".

Ew.

She then proceeded to use a sort of wet nap but with much stronger smelling disinfectant to clean her hands and then took out a tiny bottle of eyedrops. This bottle was smaller than those bottles of re-wetting drops you use for contact lenses. It was the sort of size that holds a quantity big enough for say... a dosage of medicine you might need for a 10 day period.

I think the woman next to me had conjunctivitis! And she sat down just moments before the show started that she didn't have enough time to take care of this issue in the bathroom! Had there been more time, I would have expressed my discontent and utter grossedoutedness (it's a word.). Instead, I shifted over as much as I could in the other direction while in my seat and made sure not to use the arm rest that connected our chairs.

Social Networking

My facebook page reached its all time high earlier today when I befriended my 421st closest bff. Perhaps because my newest and long lost bff claiming to have graduated from my high school the same year as me is a complete mystery, or perhaps because I'm wanting to become more private, I deleted 64 of my 421 bffs. Additionally, I've taken the first (and second and third steps) to cancel my myspace page.

The myspace page is not as big a deal, except that now I realize I'll have lost all my blog posts there. Ugh. Well, it takes 48 hours to cancel, so I'm going to do a whole lot of copying and pasting, even though I don't think I have any right to my posts per myspace's agreement with its users.

Okay, I've now verified that my myspace page is gone. Yup.

I was told the cancellation would take 48 hours, but I guess they were able to rush that order. Ironically I was going to write that perhaps I was being a bit impulsive... and clearly, I was. I guess what will be missed the most is that I used to re read my posts and have a nice chuckle from time to time. One of my favorites was a fake email I wrote to a guy I had briefly dated. He didn't call me back so I went so far as to create a fake email address for him so I could send him an email and bcc my friends so they would see my charming neuroses. I made sure to include my 7 working email addresses, went out of my way to excuse him for not having returned my email saying he probably got the calendar date confused, so Of Course! I could reschedule, and even included a google map to my apartment in case he wanted to chat in person and perhaps forget where I lived. Sigh. The best part of that was my bcc'd friends were horrified I'd do that, until I revealed it was a joke. Good times. Another one that made me laugh was my Good Hair Day post. Vain? Yes. Entertaining? To me, yes.

In any event, I guess I thought it'd be a good idea to sort of "clean house" on facebook, but it's so political. Do I delete certain high school friends? Some of whom I might walk past on the street and maybe not recognize. And I can't delete anyone from the rugby group or a theater affiliation because I'll start popping up as a person s/he may know. I'm probably giving this way too much thought. And, clearly, the whole idea of maintaining more privacy is shot now that I'm writing about it.

The true test will come when I'm at work next and can't look at those 64 deleted friends' pages or search for music on myspace. So... what other sites will be the object of my distraction?

Local Woman has Mixed Reaction about Company Decorations

In a long time coming of events, resident woman, Elena Mamlok is premiering her first person blog.

So, I came into work today and was surprised by the abundance of holiday decorations. My building is just for my company -- not an office building comprised of several companies.

Without decorations, the building is gorgeous. It's about 5 years old, it's won awards for being a green building, it's bright, colorful -- as far as corporate offices go, I think this is the best in which I could be immersed.

Anyway, the first floor which is sort of a large open atrium has a Christmas tree, the large banisters on our huge stairwell leading up the open plan second floor are wrapped in lights and greenery. There's a huge poinsettia at the top of that stairwell. Every floor has its own poinsettia by the coffee station and an ornament-clad wreath by the elevators.

So.

The decorations are all beautiful... I'm just not sold on their complete appropriateness for the workplace (I say as I'm posting this during work). I always have a hard time with "holiday" decorations because they're never inclusive of all holidays. They're not winter decorations. If they were, then we'd have spring decorations, too. And we don't. And we didn't have autumn inspired wreaths... or posters of swimming pools and ice cream cones in the summer (really, what would be a summer time decoration?)

Am I hyper sensitive? Perhaps. But I've always believed companies shouldn't have religious symbols or decorations. Inevitably, someone is excluded. (Would I be happy if there was a menorah? No. Because it would only be added to acknowledge a holiday that's not as significant to Judaism as Christmas is to Christianity.)

I do plan on attending company holiday parties, but I have the choice to attend or not. And I'm actually planning one for my department. I guess, somewhat lucky for us, since we have no budget, there will be no decorations.

Area woman nostalgic over myspace blogs

Resident woman, Lany Mamlok, reflected earlier today about missing blogging via her myspace page.

"Sigh... I created this 'Resident Woman' blog so that I would own my blog, and not myspace... but I don't use it very often and am worried I may have locked myself into writing in the third person."

Additionally, Mamlok felt that myspace's popularity started to wean, in part, due to facebook and, "people seem to have actual work to do... not as many people were reading my posts or going to my page that often."

Mamlok re read some of her old posts this morning, with a happy appreciation for her writings. "It's not like I don't want to blog... I guess I just haven't been into it all that much."

Mamlok has decided to continue her blog via blogspot, but will not necessarily write in the third person.

Area Woman Lies about Being Canadian, Avoids DNC Contribution

In what some local residents are calling "not right", Elena (Lany) Mamlok lied about her nationality to eschew solicitation for donations to the Democratic National Committee.

"Oh, screw off!" Mamlok told the barrage of reporters who stormed her porch when the story broke.

Mamlok was approached at approximately 5:30 pm just as she arrived home from work. The DNC volunteer had gotten through the first line of his speil when Mamlok interjected, "I'm sorry -- I'm Canadian, I'm a student." When asked if she had a permanent resident card, she quickly responded, "No."

"I don't know... I mean, I guess it's possible that she's a student," said the deflated DNC Volunteer, "She does live in a good location to be a student at... maybe at Tufts, or Harvard... I mean, heck even BC if she doesn't mind the long commute."

When pressed, Mamlok had this to say, "... I was short on time and, you know what? I already give to the Human Rights Campaign, so I feel like that makes me a good liberal Bostonian."

Mamlok insists that she'll be voting for Obama this fall, and to prove her dedication, she's purchased a life-size cutout of Obama for an upcoming yard sale. "It's going to be awesome!" Mamlok said, giddily.

Company Intranet Still Down, Moral Even Lower

"It's slow as f***", employee Elena (Lany) Mamlok complained. "It's just ridiculous, and I can barely do any work."

Employees say that more than just the intranet is running at a snail's pace.

"Oh yeah, it's not just our internal site. It's just about any site I want to visit that will help me avoid doing work... except blogspot, for some odd reason," chimed an employee who wished to remain annonymous.

The company's IT Helpdesk reports they are still working on this issue.

Company Intranet Down, Moral Low

Cambridge, MA

The biggest upset of Elena (Lany) Mamlok's new career with Gxxxxxx Corporation came this morning, at approximately 8:05 AM when the company's intranet site failed to load properly.

"It's very frustrating. Half of my work for the day relied on the intranet, and the company directory -- and both are down," Mamlok exasperated.

Mamlok is not alone in her frustrations. The company's front desk receptionist also hit a snag when trying to access the site, "Yeah. It's not working," he intimated.

The IT Helpdesk is aware of the situation and are working on resolving the issue, however no other updates are available at this time.

"Well, seeing as I can only get half my work done, I should probably just call it a day at lunch," Mamlok deduced, "My colleagues are having the same issue and, as a group, we feel leaving early would be the smartest decision... I mean, why put even more stress on a system that's already over burdened?"

New Phone May Be Broken

Somerville, MA

In what some are calling a travesty of the iPhone, area woman, Elena (Lany) Mamlok, believes her hand me down iPhone may be broken.

"I have received a paltry number of phone calls and texts on my new phone over the past few days. Something's not right." Mamlok elaborated, "I mean, it makes no sense..."

Upon changing her phone number this past weekend, Mamlok alerted an alarming number of friends, family members, colleagues, rotary clubs, credit agencies, and the Cristos Pizza in Davis Square, of her new contact information.

"What I'm most concerned about is the phone's warranty. I mean, it's a year old... I assume the warranty is up... so, now I'm stuck with a bum iPhone?"

At the time of this printing, there have been no reports or statistics to verify iPhone reliability.

"Well, I don't care what statistics are out there. My phone is not working... and if I have to start a support group for others in similar situations, well, fine, I will!"

Area Woman Switches to 617

Somerville, MA

A quick decision made on Saturday, July 26, resulted in a new cellular phone number for Somerville resident, Elena (Lany) Mamlok. Bystanders say this change came about due to Mamlok receiving a gently used iPhone from her brother-in-law, Robert Westervelt, of Natick. Mamlok elected to change her phone number entirely, updating her area code to Boston's 617.

When asked to comment about the decision, Mamlok said, 'Well... it just made sense for me... the [right] time, the [right] place, the [right] area code, most of all.'

Mamlok's previous mobile phone number had been part of the (508) area code since 2002.

'You know, I was at Clark [University] and my parents bought me a phone for my birthday. And I did live in Worcester after graduating, so there was no need to change it then.'

When asked to elaborate on the decision, Mamlok stated, 'Well... to be honest, I was content with my 508 number. My brother-in-law gave me his old iPhone when he bought the new one and, since I had to switch service anyway, I thought I'd make the most of out this big change.'

Big change indeed. In a recent study of cellular phone customers, 12% of people between the ages of 27 - 27.5 years living in a 617 designated town reportedly used 508 area codes. Mamlok's new phone number brings that percentage down one whole point.

'... I realized that I'd been living in Somerville for over three years and am not making plans to move to the metro west area, at least not in the next year since I've signed a new lease. So... why not?'

Friends say this is just one of several changes [Mamlok] has made over the past 12 months, including (but not limited to) buying a car, deciding to move this coming September, switching jobs, and, most significantly, being in a happy relationship with Mandy Minichiello.

'Yeah... Lany is making some big changes', an anonymous source close to Mamlok said confidentially. 'I was shocked about the new phone number... and hurt that I didn't receive her text that she apparently sent to like 30 people.'

'It's true', Mamlok responded, 'I sent a text to the first 30 people (alphabetically listed) in my phone yesterday. And I didn't have a chance to send it to everyone else... actually, that's what prompted me to contact the press.'

Mamlok recalled when her sister and brother-in-law, Charna and Robert Westervelt, respectively, of Natick, changed their home phone from a 617 to a 508 area code. Mamlok stated it was a front page headline, thanks to her sister's connections in the news industry. 'That's where I got the idea... so thanks, Charn!'

Mamlok's new phone number effective immediately is 617-xxx-xxxx